The Pimpmobile

An ill-advised effort to watch a movie named 'Love Ranch' this evening reminded me of a good tale. Supposedly based on the story of Reno's fabled Mustang Ranch brothel and its founders, the film was about as bad as I thought it would be, although the presence of Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci did give me cause to give it a shot. A short shot, as it turns out.

One of the early scenes has them riding around Reno in a gaudy custom sled typical of the 70's and 80's, and that's what brought this story to mind.  I actually met Joe Conforte, the owner of the real Mustang Ranch, once, and I met him over a very similar if not identical automobile.

Early one evening at Modern Classic Motors I glanced out the side window and saw a monstrosity of a car parked under the service portico. Curiosity drove me outside to have a good look, try to find out what it was. Walking around, taking in all the gaudy details, gave me no clue to its make, but the term that immediately came to mind was 'pimpmobile'. I had no idea at that point just how prophetic that thought would be.

After a few moments movement inside caught my eye. Down the stairs from the executive offices and out the side door came a short, stout mafia type, complete with cigar, slicked hair, fancy suit and arrogant attitude.  "You like that car?" he asked.  Now, several responses came to mind, along the lines of 'I wouldn't be caught dead in it' and the aforementioned 'pimpmobile'.  However, since he'd come down from an obvious private meeting with someone in upper management, and since I hadn't a clue who he was, my younger, nimbler mind opted for a safer answer.  Along the lines of 'I was just trying to figure out what it is'.

"It's something you don't have and never will have," he responded.  Then he began to tell me all about it.  I remember few of those details -- built in Florida, I believe, on a Lincoln Continental chassis with a custom body and interior. My older and less nimble mind tells me it might have been a Titan, but.... never trust an old and stodgy memory on such details.  After suitably impressing me (not!) with his swagger and pimpmobile, he hopped in and drove away.

I walked back inside the showroom and spoke to another employee.  Something along the lines of 'who the hell was that pompous ass?'.  "You didn't know?" said the employee.  "That was Joe Conforte!"   And then I said something along the lines of 'ahhh -- it was a pimpmobile'.

I don't know if the rest of that movie had any basis in reality, but the mythical owner played by Joe Pesci was definitely driving a custom pimpmobile very similar to the one driven by Mr. Conforte.  The producers got that part right.